How to stop thinking what others are thinking about u

I have a confession to make: I am obsessed with what others think about me. During my time in school, people would make random assumptions about me, such as calling me a nerd or saying that I couldn’t survive in the world.

In my 11th-grade class, my academic performance wasn’t up to par. So when my parents visited me at the hostel, people would comment on how my parents were wasting their time.I would think endlessly how worthless I was.

Later in life, I had a terrible experience with my JEE exam, and those close to me made it clear that I had spoiled it.

The way people perceive me has always held great importance in my life. If someone tends to believe a rumor about me, I would go to great lengths to prove them wrong. I absolutely despise it when someone talks negatively about me, and I strive to maintain a clear and positive image.

However, this obsession was draining my energy. I constantly worried about how gossip was spreading, and even if I heard my name mentioned from a distance, I would become extremely nervous. I would approach people and ask what they had heard about me. But this constant concern was becoming troublesome.

this were the following words i usually hear about me

Do you ever look at yourself in the mirror? Do you realize how unattractive you appear?

You have no attractive features.

I don’t know why, but I feel like telling you how bad you look. It’s just something I can’t hide in my heart.

Do you see how everyone else in the outside world is so pretty, while you are not?

She is not good at studies

And many more…

This makes me feel extremely weak.

Now, when I hear anyone talking negatively, passing judgment, or engaging in gossip about me, I follow a set of steps:

1. Is it true?

Even though I know in my heart that it’s not true, I still experience hurt and sadness. However, the crucial change I’ve made is that whenever I come across such remarks about myself, I consider that these hurtful words may reach my inner child. As an adult, I take responsibility for not allowing anyone’s behavior to affect me.