Honesty and trust in relationship

“వెయ్యి అబద్ధాలు ఆడి అయినా ఒక పెళ్లి చెయ్యాల” is a Telugu proverb which translates to “even if it requires weaving a web of a thousand falsehoods, one must accomplish the marriage.”

Since my childhood, I have encountered this proverb in movies and real-life situations. In movies, when the protagonist has a tumultuous past and resorts to deception, manipulation, or spins intricate tales about finances, past relationships, or other aspects, they often invoke this proverb to justify their actions. They argue that their motives are driven by the desire to safeguard the happiness and well-being of their loved one or due to the fear of losing their affection.

The actress gradually starts embracing the web of fabricated stories, eventually entering into the sacred bond of matrimony with him, and the viewers, in turn, find themselves contemplating the complexities of the situation.

However, reality paints a different picture…

In reality, let’s imagine a scenario where he claims to own a successful startup and promises to support his wife’s career by agreeing to not have children. Additionally, he commits to sharing household responsibilities, respecting their religious beliefs, and assures her that he won’t consume alcohol.

Likewise, let’s envision her reassuring him that she will handle the financial responsibilities, including loans, and agrees to make decisions about having children based on his preferences. She might even agree to live in a joint family setup.

“You know, it’s just the beginning of love where you don’t even want to make things a little difficult for your partner.”

Then you are married with tens or hundreds of lies tied to it

One fine morning, you wake up to the realization that your husband had been dishonest about his job. Instead of working as he claimed, he was actually spending his time playing rummy games and using quick cash apps. To make matters worse, he has accumulated a substantial amount of debt. Furthermore, he is not just a social drinker but a habitual one, and he consistently fails to be punctual. Adding to the complexity, he now expresses a desire to have a child, despite his previous promise of a child-free marriage.

Then our lovely wife arrived, expressing her agreement to a joint family in pursuit of those stolen kisses. However, she believed she could change him. While she did not wish to share the financial burden, she assured that she would provide assistance without considering the consequences. She mentioned being fine with his food habits, but the smell of his food makes her nauseous.

Here in both the cases both of them lied about things that other partner finds it important,the girl can’t stand drunkards but he is it,the guy want to go for a joint family he wants her emotional inverstment but she finds it chaotic

Then both of them feel unloved,unheard and the marriage loses its valuable.

Tith lies then it wont’ work for a long time

He lies that they both told each other as a means to marry became the reason their marriage broke.

Both of their hearts have been broken.

Now, one thing I would say to anyone getting married: please talk about the terms clearly.

Here are some important topics to discuss before marriage:

• How you want to be loved
• Your children’s choices
• Religion to follow
• Food habits
• Family rituals
• Financial expectations
• Career aspirations
• Communication styles
• Conflict resolution strategies
• Division of household responsibilities
• Personal boundaries

Be honest about what you want in life. If you keep lying about your desires and simply expect the other person to understand or fill the void themselves, or if you manipulate them, it can lead to misunderstandings and difficulties in the relationship.